


Ducks in Tartarus

by written_in_starlight



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Fandoms - All Media Types, The Infernal Devices Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Crack, Gen, basically a shitpost in story form, slight AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-25
Updated: 2020-04-25
Packaged: 2021-03-02 02:04:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 642
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23837248
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/written_in_starlight/pseuds/written_in_starlight
Summary: "Ducks in Tartarus. What next?"“I told you feeding them poultry pies would be a good idea.”“You wanted to create a race of cannibal ducks, not an army.”~~~~~~~Or, Percy and Annabeth somehow end up running into Will and Jem in Tartarus. Also Will has an army of ducks, because why not?
Kudos: 9





	Ducks in Tartarus

**Author's Note:**

> This is honestly really old (to give you a time frame, Figment was still alive and kicking, and I'm pretty sure it was before Blood of Olympus was released), and it's 100% just the stupidest shit, but hey, maybe somebody else will find it as amusing as I did when I was writing/rereading it lol

“Do you hear that?” Annabeth asked, her hand gripping the hilt of her dagger.

Percy listened closely, and faintly heard a beat, as if something was marching, and… “Is that quacking?” he asked.

“Shut up Seaweed Brain,” Annabeth said, lightly hitting Percy’s arm, though she drew her dagger. The marching grew louder, as did the sound that Percy was sure was quacking, and Percy uncapped Riptide, the ballpoint pen elongating into a bronze sword.

“Ducks in Tartarus,” he muttered. “What next?”

All too soon, Percy and Annabeth saw that Percy had been right, as an army of ducks marched past the cave they were in. None of them entered, but the two were still wary.

Suddenly, a voice split the near silence. “Find anybody yet Jem?”

“If I did, I would tell you,” another person, Jem, replied.

A pause, then, closer now, the first asked, “Do you think they’re in here?”

“Can’t hurt to look,” Jem said, and two silhouettes appeared in the mouth of the cave. Percy and Annabeth stood shoulder to shoulder, and Percy was glad that he had Annabeth with him. If he screwed up, she would save his butt, and then tease him about it later.

A light flared up from one of the figure’s hands, and Percy and Annabeth were finally able to see the figures clearly. The one holding the light had black hair and blue eyes, while his companion had silver hair and eyes. Both were dressed in black leather, with assorted daggers and tubes in their belts.

“Who are you?” Annabeth demanded.

The black-haired boy bowed, sarcastically, Percy thought, and said, “My name is William Herondale, my companion is James Carstairs, and we’re here to rescue you.”

“Who sent you?” Percy had to admire how collected Annabeth was, though they were in Tartarus with an army of ducks just outside, and two boys who were apparently rescuing them.

“They wish to remain secret, though you can be assured that they are concerned for your well-being,” James said softly, and Percy couldn’t help but wonder where his accent was from.

Annabeth hesitated, and Percy cut in, “Where did the ducks come from?”

“Our army,” William said with a smile. “I told you feeding them poultry pies would be a good idea,” he added to James.

“You wanted to create a race of cannibal ducks, not an army,” James said with amusement. “Anyways, we’d better go soon. The ducks can hold off the demons, but we’d best leave before the last line. Will, I believe I might need a seraph blade. I dropped mine earlier.”

“Demons?” Annabeth asked warily as Will removed one of the cylinders from his belt and gave it to James.

“A piece of advice,” Will said with a grin. “The handsome young fellow who rescues you is never wrong.” With that, he leapt out of the cave, leaving behind a spluttering Percy.

James shook his head. “I apologize,” he said. “He says those sort of things to most every lady he meets.”

“Jem Carstairs, you disloyal bastard,” Will called. “I believe I might be needing your assistance. And possibly a _stele._ ”

Jem shook his head and said, “Just follow us. I’ll explain as we go and once we leave this place.”

He left the cave, and Annabeth looked at Percy. “Well, if they turn out to be monsters intent on eating us, we can always just stab them and run,” he said lightly.

Annabeth hit him, but said, “I suppose you’re right. It’s not a bad idea. Well, except for the fact the ducks could turn on us.”

“An army of ducks,” Percy snorted as they left the cave. “Who thinks of that?”

Annabeth’s reply was cut off when they saw what the two boys were fighting. Two Empousa. Percy and Annabeth exchanged a look, then charged forward to join the fight.


End file.
